When I arrived in London, it was made clear to me that the sky is falling. The stock market dropped, we’re entering a recession, and the American downswing will bring Europe down with it. The current president is just shy of nominating his horse as consul and the egregiously overpaid managers of funds – who form the bulk of my clientele – are about to have a good reason to cover their conspicuous displays of indulgence. There’s been something in the air for a year now, but it’s getting a little darker. It just feels like we’re due for a backlash, a backlash against disproportionate wealth (maybe rightly so) and with it, a backlash against whoredom.

The other night I had tiny filets of water buffalo and red deer, followed by red berries cast in a pomogranate gelée with champagne granita. Later that night, he jerked off over my body and sprayed my tits and neck with his come. He was aiming for my necklace, a gift from someone else, possibly a rival in his industry.

It feels a little too decadent out there. Something’s going to happen, I think. When there’s a downturn, politicians start looking for scapegoats and whoredom becomes an easy target because it’s always been associated with both conspicuous consumption and moral decay. When people lament a feeble economy, they lash at out at the well-paid clients and then they lash out at the sex workers themselves. If history is any indicator, and it is, then something’s going to happen. Maybe a year from now.


While I wait for the moral apocalypse, someone’s coming by my hotel room tonight to lick my pussy. He’s someone I met four or five trips ago, and he makes me realize that one of the great benefits to being female is that men seem to have no trouble with the spontaneous “Hey, I’m in town,” phone call, or the subsequent, “Come by and lick my pussy” text message. Men are great that way.

If it were the other way around, if a man swept through town and expected women to come by and service his sexual needs, he’d be an insensitive, inconsiderate fuck. And maybe I’m an insensitive, inconsiderate fuck too, and maybe men just put up with me. I just know that I have the great fortune of coming back to my hotel room to indulge in a long bath, and then I’ll towel off, curl up on the sofa with a book, and eventually receive a near-stranger who will enter, kneel, spread my thighs, and lick my cunt. It’s nice. I’m lucky. And it’s probably further indication that the sky is falling.

9 Responses to “decadence.”

  1. Things to do in 2008:

    1:Get out of debt
    2:Take a cooking class
    3: Work out more often
    4:Get a text message from a woman asking me to lick her pussy

    Ok as long as #4 happens it will be a good year.

    If that’s what’s happening when the sky is falling, I hope it keeps falling.

  2. 2 Peccator

    Perhaps his necklace-upon-the-necklace was not a move to, um . . . smear . . . a business rival but rather an attempt to create a meme.

    As you can tell, I’m deep into filth at the moment.

  3. 3 Disconnected

    Yes, London is a lovely place for decadence. But I think that the moral decay has to do with the money rather than the whoredom. Don’t know if you agree, but London decadence seems to focus on the act of retail rather than the idea of being a real libertine. Banker cars, banker art, banker clubs… Maybe that’s ubiquotous though…

    It is inspiring though, in a dark way. Or at least it has been to me.

  4. Ha! Necklace meme.

    Disconnect – I think you’re right about the bankers and the retail in London. The decadence doesn’t bear much likeness to libertinage. It’s more of a momentary excursion, or another form of commerce. Though I’d argue it’s much more pronounced in the States where decadence and fast-food culture merge to form some kind of drive-thru depravity one experiences while tapping out a message on a Blackberry. Most of the time.

  5. 5 Disconnected

    I can’t really argue with that since I don’t have any experience of these type of people in the states. However, I would agree with ‘another form of commerce’ rather than ‘an excursion’, but then the whole point of moneyLondon is the glorification of the commerce. Have you been to Selfridges on your latest visit? The signs hanging everywhere say it all: “buy me, use me, throw me away”… Now, I’m not a puritan by any means, but when joy is derived from the transaction itself rather than from the use of product/service itself (be it wine, trips, clothes, etc), it makes me sad and angry at the same time. Like you comment – it’s the drive-thru depravity experience, but then the point of the experience is the experiencing of it but doing it for the sake of being able to talk about it afterwards.?

  6. The world would be a better place if more people felt comfortable and brave enough to be so spontaneous. Now I shall stare at my phone and will such things to be true.

  7. It’s been my observation that the “glorification of the commerce” and the derivation of joy “from the transaction itself rather than from the use of product” is by no means a recent development. It seems rather to be precisely what drives, motivates and sustains the very vitality of an accelerated and hyperactive new era in global capitalist exchange, an era in which commerce is driven not merely by glorification of the exchange itself, but also by a perverted speculative madness in which one’s predictive capacities as to the present day’s excess, the future’s fetishistic possibilities becomes the new seat of joy, paradoxically cordoning off that joy from anything but the ability to imagine the possibility of its enjoyment.

    Anecdotally, I work in my own form of whoredom to pay my way through school — selling cuisine instead of orgasms, a difference that seems increasingly formal and meaningless anymore — and if one spends enough time charging $600 to AmEx Blacks for Super Tuscans that were never even decanted before being drunk, it seems obvious where the customer derives their pleasure.

  8. The transaction is almost better than the use.

  9. 9 Bunny

    I just read your note from London written in January, 2008. It was prescient, brilliant, a harbinger of the coming fall in things finance and luxe, as well. It read like something that might have been written in London in 1938 when there must have been a terrible sense of foreboding, despite the assurances of some politicians.

    I don’t think you need to worry about the demise of whoredom however. There will always be men with money, and regardless of their race, ethnicity or religion, they have a common need to both want what they don’t have, and to procure it illicitly.

    Please keep writing – you have a gift.

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