press. decompression.
The first wave of press came and went. Those were the requests for names and gossip. They were easy to ignore.
The second wave of press has been different. These are requests for something much more in-depth and thorough.
From some people, I hear: “Don’t be stupid. Take advantage of the moment.”
From others: “Don’t be stupid. They’ll destroy you.”
The push and pull has been tough, and I’ve canceled all my plans so I can stay in, avoid clients, avoid James. Fuckbuddy’s not happy that I’ve had any sort of communication with anyone representing the press, focusing on the damage I could do to him, as if I don’t worry enough about the damage I could do to the people in my life. At some point, I just hung up. I’m tired.
*
It’s Friday night and I’m staying in. I think my downstairs neighbor is on tour so I’m taking the opportunity to play music loudly. I’ve killed the lights – it’s all candles and tea lights in here. Girly. I’m in my underwear. The twentysomething left a bottle of bourbon a while ago and some porn – I’ve had a bit of both to relax. I’ll probably masturbate. Later, I’ll put on some headphones and stare at the ceiling for a bit.
*
I don’t know what to do about the media. Honestly. No idea.
I’ll probably retreat.
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Tags: press
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Maybe try and use it to your advantage somehow.
hopefully someone else will do something stupid really soon and the media will attack them instead.
There are people out there who could help advise you on dealing with the press in this situation. I know of a few with expertise on dealing with the media on sexual matters.
There is an old saying that has come in handy through the years perhaps it may be applicable here; “the more you stir shit, the more it stinks”. I think I would lay low for a while.
just take care of yourself, d. baths are nice. masturbation is nice. trashy novels are nice. and something sweet. take care of yourself.
That’s a hard one. Not sure what to say, take your time and don’t listen to anyone but yourself.
If it makes you feel any better, I’ll probably masturbate later too.
I’d strongly consider talking to the press (..but only if it’s a reputable journalist/publication).
There seems to be so much misinformation out there on this topic, it might be a great opportunity to shed a little light, un-muddy the waters, and educate the masses. You’re so eloquent and honest and you truly stand out from the hordes of other sex worker blogs, you’d be a great interview.
So, for whatever it’s worth: I hope you do it.
I don’t disagree with the spirit of M.’s comment but I disagree that you should do it. You can’t control who’s going to be in such a broad audience and how they’re going to react to what you say. The last thing you need is someone or some “pro family values” party deciding to make you a target for a witch hunt. Never underestimate right wing hysteria.
The misinformation and prejudice surrounding this topic has an inertia that’s age-old. The people who want to be informed and educated about it, can do so with a little searching, for good information and resources already exist. Those that won’t, will not have their minds changed anyway.
Maybe one day you’ll do something like that after all, but now, when it’s election year, when the scandal is the news of the week, with emotions and moralism running rampant, is not the best time. Safety first, always.
Lay low, take notes.
Keep watching how it all goes,
first thing, please, be well.
I think you should talk to the press if you feel you have something to say. If you don’t have anything to say then don’t talk to them. I agree with the above comment that if you do take the plunge then make sure it is a reputable publication.
D,
I don’t know any of the details of the situation besides the public ones just those hat reach us here over the wires and what you write, so I’m not about to attempt to give any advice. I do however work “comms” and if I learned anything, it’s the danger of talking to press/people because your inner pressure dictates it rather than because it has a strategic value. (Yes, sorry for sounding like an asshole here). If you have someone totally impartial who you trust enough for all the details, I would suggest using them for advice.
And something I felt like commenting on when I wrote the post on Note – I found your blog absolutely randomly and have been reading it ever since and to me it’s more and more unrelated to any subject matter but rather to your personal style, so whatever happens, I hope you’ll keep writing.
Attention from the press is followed by attention from law enforcement, every time.
Whatever you decide, good luck!
I wouldn’t talk to the press. The times are bad for anonymity, journalists are turning over their notes to the government, the government isn’t disciplined with its approach to using courts to gain information, and until November each party will be looking to get as much information as they can to undermine as many candidates as they can. Regardless of the relevance, you’ll a curiosity to them, and a potential example to be made of. Stay away.
I can’t begin to describe how valuable these comments are to me. Thank you.
disconnected: yeah i like that she’s writing ‘hawt sexxy wrrrritng’ *snerk* but at this point she can talk about her cat if she wants to. (keep up a little of the hawt though please
i think that maybe if i could manage to put myself in your shoes i might say “i’ll tell you what (to the only journalist of the group that passed inspection of course) if you still want to talk about *me* when the election and the hoopla are over? email me then”
and i would not give them examples of anything that you wouldn’t be willing to say in your blog…
and then [my brain continues without me] i would shut down the blog.
okay yeah, i think i fall into the ‘don’t do it’ camp but only because i love the blog… or at least promise to tell me where the new one is…
We care about what happens to you. Besides a blog without D, is just a blog.
If I could handpick a woman to be a collective voice for all of us, it would be you. You’re scary-smart and you pull no punches. But journalists are experts at twisting words and taking statements completely out of context. The American public does not want to hear about the reality of sex work. They’re only interested in crack-addicted street walkers, or spewing masturbatory drivel about chinchilla-clad, Cristal-sipping whores flying around the world in Citation jets. They either put us on a pedestal or kick it out from underneath us.
So my vote is: two thumbs down.
Debauchette,
I have to strongly agree with those above that suggest you not talk with the U.S. press. First, as we should all know by now, they can no longer be trusted. The days of honest journalists like Walter Cronkite are gone (possibly never to return). Today, they only believe in self interest and the next (hopefully bigger) paycheck. I wish this wasn’t true, but, as I look around, thats all I see (except for, possibly, Bill Moyers).
IF you do ever decide to talk with those people, do make sure to protect yourself. Any and all correspondence must be recorded as you know they will take everything they can out of context.
Maybe sometime down the road would be a good time to talk, but not now. The jackals are just circling. Looking for some way to make a bigger story out of this. You don’t need to be their newest roadkill.
P.S.
Oh, and I really like your blog. I just found it a little while ago and am impressed. We need you to continue; not wind up as another victim of these right wing hypocrites.
I think there has been enough coverage from many sides already. Enough higher end escorts chimed in on comments and discussions. And as for the main articles/interviews, you would have no control as to how much they’d cut out.
Bound Not Gagged has a pretty good number of links and discussions, in my opinion. Have you considered directing the press there?
Add another to the “nay” ’s
I’ve spoken to the press before on sensitive matters (not this sensitive, mind you), and *inevitably* i’ve been screwed. not in the good sense. whether on purpose or by accident, they misinterpret, misrepresent, or reveal that which was promised to be held secret.
And add another, or a million others, to the “please keep writing” lobby.
And, yes, do take care of yourself. your blog is wonderful, delicious, and extraordinary, but we only have one you.
This might sound harsh, but it’s true: the press isn’t interested in what you have to say, they’re interested in finding evidence to support a story. You can be part of that process, and it -can- be a positive thing if what you want and what they want are correlated to any degree, but you always need to keep in mind that they have a job to do.
…and remember: don’t answer the question they ask, answer the question you wish they had asked.
Oh my…willies full blown. You aren’t me, so I wouldn’t begin to suggest what to do…but you have a wonderful life: you have all you want, when you want, how you want, a great day job. Why dilly dally with that with contact with the media? Anonymity is so nice, especially with who we are.
I wish you well with your decision.
I am one who found your page through one of those sites you listed. After reading your story and becoming totally understanding of your choice in lifestyle, I come back to read more. I wondered how I found your page and found you very interesting. You are a VERY intelligent woman who knows who she is – I often wonder how many women actually know who they are. I admire your writing, your courage and strength and your openess. Please keep writing for it’s all informative to those not in your type of circle.
I believe more people need to be more open minded in accepting others for who they are. Stay true to yourself and never stoop to others ignorance in understanding.
I thank you for your continuation and openess in such a judgemental sad society.
D.–
I am interested in the hypocrisy in the prostitute conversations; so,
-do you advocate prostitution for other women?
-will you advocate prostitution for your nieces/nephews if it suits their interests?